Thursday, May 31, 2012

先甜后苦 :D

(Okay, I know my mandarin is terrible, but I quoted the 成语 wrongly on purpose :D *defensive*)

SDE called yesterday, while I was in the middle of work. The call revolved around admin matters, and inviting me down for their admission day this coming Saturday. They also told me to consider attending the Faculty Camp in June (which is separate from the campus-wide Orientation Week in August). After a few more reminders and admin-news, the phone call ended.

And it suddenly hit me that June is approaching, and three-quarters of my long break has already ended.


So now that uni is really starting soon, I'm beginning to value those 'me' moments a lot more.

When my long 8-month break first started, I disliked having to stay home with nothing to do. Going out, regardless for work or to meet friends, was way more interesting and exciting. Staying cooped up at home was equivalent to wasting my holiday. In fact, I think I've been at home less than when I was schooling ._.

I think I tired myself out a lot, always wholeheartedly agreeing to attend any meet-up/work as soon as I was asked. I vaguely register being really, really, really tired at certain points, but the moment I got an off-day with nothing to do, I literally turned into an emo lump at home. SO GO OUT IT WAS!

Hehehe. Kinda ironic isn't it, accumulating a sleep-debt when I'm supposed to be on holiday.

In retrospect, I can see why my mom was so pissed off with me sometimes (why can't you just sleep in/sleep more/sleep again/sleep earlier etc etc etc).

Sorry mummy! :(
I am enjoying my last few years as a teenager (SPEAKING OF WHICH, WTF I'M NOT GOING TO BE A TEEN ANYMORE WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED!!!!! - But this is another story. Digressions aside...) so I had absolutely no choice but to return home to you looking more and more like a panda bear each time.

Btw I FREAKING LOVE PANDAS. I can't help it, it's in my name. 
The dude up there is called "Tarepanda". CAN YOU BLAME ME FOR HAVING AN INSTANT CONNECTION WITH IT??

(Ahem. Again, digressions aside...)

But now that I'm about to become a student again (and a more independent/motivated one this time round), I don't think I'll be an emo lump at home anymore.

I've been playing my uke (amazingly it really isn't another one of my five-minute-fascinations), drawing/doodling a lot, and trying to learn Jap (keyword: trying). I only got as far as memorizing the five a-i-u-e-o characters in Hiragana, and that's already a lot of hard work for my rusty brain ok people.

I love my ukulele! :D

Moral of the story, I will properly treasure the time I have left for myself/my family/my close friends before uni starts now :) 

(And I still can't believe I'm currently living the "long holiday" Mrs Goh always used as a motivational tool to make us study when we were all stressed for the A Levels. Torturous journey it was; I hated it. The long holiday felt like it would never come.)


IN OTHER NEWS (still uni-related though), MY MOM AGREED TO LET ME STAY IN HOSTELLLLLL ! Currently quite interested in Eusoff Hall, so... fingers crossed? :)

If you have been an avid reader of mine one of the poor people I always rant to, you'd know my mom was intensely against the idea of me living in a uni hall (and this is just putting it lightly).

Whee! :D

Although, now that she has finally given the green light, I'm beginning to find myself doubting my decision :\ What if I am actually complete crap at taking care of myself and I return home looking not like a panda, but like something a panda chewed up? 

Gosh :\

But ok, ok. Think positive. It's gonna be alright. I will grow and mature. I will learn to be independent. My roommate will not be a weirdo. I will have a nice roommate.


I will be meeting the swift swallows tomorrow!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Going to gym/sauna/BAKE MACARONS and possibly terrify Choco with my horrible Cantonese. 

BUT, MACARONS! Can you imagine!!! My all time favourite sweet, my one and only dessert-weakness... and I will make platters and platters of them tomorrow!!!

Rows and rows of wonderful, sweet pastel-coloured French delicacies. Ahhhhhhh!

Something like this maybe?? *high hopes*

This is what love is made of!

* in heaven*

Call me happykid93! :D :D Can't wait lalalala.


Mom sent me pics of the cutest twins in the WORLD - Hayden and Lukas!!! :D
Half Dutch, half Chinese. SOOOOO ADORABLE I swear their smiles have the power to end wars.

I shall share some photos with you here, because the above pictures of the macarons have put me in a considerably good mood. Teehee.




Sunday, May 20, 2012


(slight emo tone ahead. approach with caution)

When I received my A Level results.. It wasn't pretty, with only a single A, and a few Bs and Cs. And an E (horror).

I didn't feel anything then; at that instant, they were still just alphabets. Harmless letters printed on a flimsy piece of paper. They seemingly had no consequence.
Mrs Goh had looked at me kindly as she gave me my results. She said it was alright.

The desperation only kicked in a few days afterwards.

Suddenly university seemed like a joke. I was the borderline, 10th percentile on almost every course I had interest in.

I think my friends kept me from going insane. I'm relieved they did much better than I did, are higher than the dreaded 10th percentiles and are able to get into what they liked :)

And i guess in return, they lent me their ears, and accompanied me to whichever uni talk I fancied even if they had zero interest in it. I'm really grateful I have them :D

My TT girls, Cinyi Jac Charis Peishan Cindy, silly girls who provided laugher and joy at every turn. I really needed their support :D

The tubbers, including my fabulous Swallows, who willingly crashed every single uni talk with me as long as I so much as whispered that it seemed interesting.

And my JC mates, ever so optimistic and caring.

In the end, I applied to SMU, NTU and NUS (in that order too).

1.Bachelor of Social Science

1. Sociology
2. Psychology
3. English Literature
4. Linguistics and Multilingual Studies
5. History

1. Project & Facil Management
2. Industrial Design
3. Nursing
4. Architecture
5. Faculty of Arts and Social Science

I was pretty certain I was going to NTU. I read up on Sociology, tried to memorize the NTU campus map, looked up their CCAs (took a fascination to NTU ACES, inner cheerleader in me wants to be let out lololol). But yeah. I was selected, but missed the sociology interview -_-


I'm really grateful :)
I was offered the following:

1. SMU Bachelor of Social Science
2. NUS Project and Facil Management
3. NTU Sociology (but I 'rejected' so..)
4. NTU Psychology

And I'm enrolling into NUS' 4-year PFM course, with my fantastic friends Cinyi (biz admin), Jac (FASS) and Charis (FASS).

And some more awesome news!

NUS Business School, FASS and SDE (School of Design and Environment, my school) are SIDE BY SIDE!!!

Guess who already has lunch buddies before term even starts!!!! ^^

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Bad luck on the 8th?

This time one month ago (8th of April), it was suay day.

I got a serious case of rashes, was almost late for my friends' POP, holiday plans were in a mess, I got scolded by my mother, and we almost missed our ferry to Bintan cause the train stalled.

Fast forward one month, and the 8th of May was not much better :(

NTU Sociology finally called me a week ago to inform me that I was shortlisted for the test & interview!! They were the last out of all three unis I've applied to to contact me, and I was quite surprised about this, because my grades matched their cut-off exactly (plus the A for GP!! :D), whereas I missed NUS and SMU by a few points.

The test and interview was scheduled at 10am, 8th May.

So here, the bad luck comes in.

I lost my wallet on a cab last night. Got into a crazy panicked frenzy cause my bank cards were all inside, as well as my IC and house key. Yes, my house key is in my wallet together with my IC. I never really thought much of it, but yes it is a stupid thing to do. I have learnt my lesson.

Anyway, as if losing my wallet - with my cash and cards inside - the day before my interview wasn't bad enough, NTU probably wants verification of some sort right? HOW DO I VERIFY MY IDENTITY WITHOUT MY IC??

In the end, decided to bring my passport ._.

On the morning of the 8th, woke up with a heavy heart (lost wallet fml, lots of things to do). But the horrible luck doesn't end there. At JE station, I was supposed to change trains and head towards Joo Koon. The platform on the right read "to Joo Koon" and the train was there already!!

Needless, I boarded (the extremely packed) train...... and when the doors closed, I realized it was going towards Pasir Ris ._.

Wrong direction!!!!


No choice... took a cab at Clementi. And from this cab ride, I conclude that cabs and I are not meant to be. Not fated. Not compatible. I can't take cabs, and cabs can't drive me.

Because whichever cab I take NEVER KNOWS HOW TO GO TO WHEREVER I NEED IT TO GO. 

Not the first time already.

It was 10.05AM when I arrived at NTU.

But nooooope, epic journey hasn't ended. CAN YOU SEE HOW HORRIBLE 8TH MAY IS YET??

I was supposed to report to NTU's School of Humanities and Social Science reception counter at 10AM. The cab driver took me for a spin (clueless driver + clueless passenger = best combo ever), and when I finally got to the School, it was 10.15AM.

Ran to the counter... only to realize there was NO ONE THERE.

Not a soul.


I had no number to call also. Paced up and down like an idiot (cause quite frankly I really was an idiot wtf lose wallet, take wrong train), until I saw someone emerge from a door behind the counter.

UNFORTUNATELY (what else is new), this dude is not from the division of Sociology. I think he is a Chinese lecturer. In any case, he didn't know anything about the Sociology interview, but tried to help by bringing me to fifth floor, where the Division of Sociology is located.

But you know universities.

All the corridors were locked, cruel glass doors separating me from the test/interview I was so sure I could pass and from them, receive another offer of admission.

But no.

It was so cold there, I swear. And I have never felt so numb from all the bad stuff that just happened. Everything felt so surreal, like I was some puppet on strings, being played with by ruthless, ruthless fate. I mean, SERIOUSLY? This much shit could happen to one person within the space of a few hours?


In the end, I just gave up trying.

NUS, I am all yours, without a second thought anymore. :)



YES :) I'd spent a while thinking, debating, wondering whether I really should commit. Will I get tired ? Will I give up? Will I just drop everything when I've had enough?
(I hope not)


Introducing my baby ukulele! :D It's a Makala brand soprano uke!!!

Makala Colours - Solid Pink Dolphin! I wanted the Pinkburst Dolphin so badly, but their last unit was quite badly scratched :( SOLID PINK IT IS! #notgrowingup

Dolphin bridge. How adorable is this model!!

My ukuele master. HAHA!
Ben was mad awesome, willingly letting me drag him all around Singapore; offering to look for my wallet, going to the NPC at somerset to report my lost wallet with me, getting new ATM cards, having a very late lunch, pushing back the ukulele-jamming session until much later today, shopping for a girly uke with me (LOL) and giving expert advice! HEHEHE thank you Benjamin you are absolutely GODSEND!!!!

This place is a hidden gem! Perfect views, quiet and relatively untouched, but still pretty modern. We agreed it was the best place to have a picnic with the usual bunch of people!! So Cinyi/Aaron/Jac/Charis/whoever is part of our usual group of friends, mark your calendars!! We're gonna have a picnic (+uke/singing) at the most perfect place in Singapore!

Sunset! iPhone camera does no justice, it was so calming and pretty! :D


And surprisingly, you can see the Flyer/MBS from there!!!!

Uke :)

And more good news! When I finally tore myself away from the tranquility of the park and returned home, I found a handwritten note stuffed at the lock of my front door.

My wallet is coming back to me tomorrow!!!! :D

Monday, May 7, 2012


K I know it's late and I really should be sleeping because I have work tomorrow, but this is pretty important (or at least to me it is) and I'm afraid I'll forget what I wanna say so..

So I was thinking today about what were the things that would constitute a fulfilling life.

Money? To buy things like clothes? Shoes?
Or things that are less materialistic, less tangible. Like... good grades? A happy family?

Honestly, it's hard to decide - especially since I'm turning horrendously superficial as of late, heh heh heh.

But yeah, search deep. What would make you feel like you've lived life to its fullest? (Oh how terribly short life is.) That you haven't, or aren't going to, waste your entire being on things you don't even like?

Is it hard to conclude?

For a long time, I didn't know what would fulfill my reason for living. Because in the first place, I didn't know what were the things I absolutely loved.

No, I can't say money fulfills me. Money may make people happy, but fulfillment is another thing altogether. 

No, honestly I don't love studying. I enjoy learning, but not mugging. And in any case, I don't love schooling enough to declare it as fulfilling. 

No, I don't love my family-life. Yes I love my family, and I'm thankful for all that I have been given and blessed with. But sometimes, and quite frankly I must say this, it is hard to love something that hasn't grown up; something that is still stuck in the stubborn tantrums of childish demands and illogical whims. Something that is knee-deep in politics and selfish motivations. Love the family I must, for it is in my blood, but it is hardly fulfilling at all.

Then there are my friends.
I love my friends, I love being with them, and who I am when I am with them. There is surely fulfillment in friendship! :D 

But there is also fear.

Friendship isn't like family. It isn't part of your flesh and bones. You can only go so far in friendship because sometimes - without realizing it, without actually meaning to - friendships fade. You try, and try, but you'll slowly lose some along the way. Maybe there are advantages in being lonely. You spare yourself the heartache. Honestly I'm petrified of that idea. I'm scared. I can't bear the thought of losing my friends, be they any one of the 14 other Tubbers, my TT BFFs, my JC brothers/sisters or even my primary school friends. They said once you hit 40, the number of close friends you have drop to 2.  I can't stand the thought.

But it happens.
In fact, you are probably facing this problem yourself, too.

Fulfillment in friendship is wonderful. It's incredibly liberating. Yet it may only be temporary.
But this is another story for another day...

(Yes, this is my long intro into this post wtf)

So... what are the things that would constitute a fulfilling life? 

Life may be short, but making it a fulfilling one sure is difficult. I still haven't found a concrete answer to this... But for now, I'd say it is myself.

And for you, well... it's probably yourself too.

Invest in yourself. Make yourself happy! Do the things that will definitely put a smile on your face, even if it is only temporary. Even if it will get you scolded, or berated, or chided (but please don't break the law). As long as it makes you happy, you're good to go :)

So here are the happy things I wanna do!
Things that, when voiced out to my mother, have gotten me scoldings wtf.

But what the hey !

Buy a cute ukulele
Play the ukulele
Sing, and play the ukulele
Stay in a hostel
Learn to speak, read and write the lovely Japanese language
Go overseas to study in university
Learn French so I that can study in Switzerland
Play more ukulele

Okay.  I guess I am done for tonight (it's 2AM!!!! That's it, I need caffeine for tomorrow).

Goodnight! Remember to keep yourself happy! ^^