Monday, May 7, 2012


K I know it's late and I really should be sleeping because I have work tomorrow, but this is pretty important (or at least to me it is) and I'm afraid I'll forget what I wanna say so..

So I was thinking today about what were the things that would constitute a fulfilling life.

Money? To buy things like clothes? Shoes?
Or things that are less materialistic, less tangible. Like... good grades? A happy family?

Honestly, it's hard to decide - especially since I'm turning horrendously superficial as of late, heh heh heh.

But yeah, search deep. What would make you feel like you've lived life to its fullest? (Oh how terribly short life is.) That you haven't, or aren't going to, waste your entire being on things you don't even like?

Is it hard to conclude?

For a long time, I didn't know what would fulfill my reason for living. Because in the first place, I didn't know what were the things I absolutely loved.

No, I can't say money fulfills me. Money may make people happy, but fulfillment is another thing altogether. 

No, honestly I don't love studying. I enjoy learning, but not mugging. And in any case, I don't love schooling enough to declare it as fulfilling. 

No, I don't love my family-life. Yes I love my family, and I'm thankful for all that I have been given and blessed with. But sometimes, and quite frankly I must say this, it is hard to love something that hasn't grown up; something that is still stuck in the stubborn tantrums of childish demands and illogical whims. Something that is knee-deep in politics and selfish motivations. Love the family I must, for it is in my blood, but it is hardly fulfilling at all.

Then there are my friends.
I love my friends, I love being with them, and who I am when I am with them. There is surely fulfillment in friendship! :D 

But there is also fear.

Friendship isn't like family. It isn't part of your flesh and bones. You can only go so far in friendship because sometimes - without realizing it, without actually meaning to - friendships fade. You try, and try, but you'll slowly lose some along the way. Maybe there are advantages in being lonely. You spare yourself the heartache. Honestly I'm petrified of that idea. I'm scared. I can't bear the thought of losing my friends, be they any one of the 14 other Tubbers, my TT BFFs, my JC brothers/sisters or even my primary school friends. They said once you hit 40, the number of close friends you have drop to 2.  I can't stand the thought.

But it happens.
In fact, you are probably facing this problem yourself, too.

Fulfillment in friendship is wonderful. It's incredibly liberating. Yet it may only be temporary.
But this is another story for another day...

(Yes, this is my long intro into this post wtf)

So... what are the things that would constitute a fulfilling life? 

Life may be short, but making it a fulfilling one sure is difficult. I still haven't found a concrete answer to this... But for now, I'd say it is myself.

And for you, well... it's probably yourself too.

Invest in yourself. Make yourself happy! Do the things that will definitely put a smile on your face, even if it is only temporary. Even if it will get you scolded, or berated, or chided (but please don't break the law). As long as it makes you happy, you're good to go :)

So here are the happy things I wanna do!
Things that, when voiced out to my mother, have gotten me scoldings wtf.

But what the hey !

Buy a cute ukulele
Play the ukulele
Sing, and play the ukulele
Stay in a hostel
Learn to speak, read and write the lovely Japanese language
Go overseas to study in university
Learn French so I that can study in Switzerland
Play more ukulele

Okay.  I guess I am done for tonight (it's 2AM!!!! That's it, I need caffeine for tomorrow).

Goodnight! Remember to keep yourself happy! ^^

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